Discussed medication with my psych nurse yesterday. I’ve pretty much decided that I don’t want to be under the chemical cosh anymore. Having briefly experienced life without sensory anaesthesia, it made me wish to breath real air again. As the dosage was steadily increased over the last few weeks, so did the dull (lack of) sensation. I don’t want that anymore (if I ever did). I want to be the me I was two weeks ago - strong, virile, unplugged. Not super happy, not a different person - the same dour, sardonic fucker I am (only able to caress, devour and live). So, my antidepressants are now slightly lowered in dosage and hopefully I can get them reduced further in the future. There’s talk of me being on lithium alone. Early days. I’ll never be drug free but it’s progress.