It’s getting to the point where I don’t see much of a future anymore. God knows things were bleak before but some petty distraction would sustain me. The guilt of unspoken family duty. A fairly convincing superficial friendship, denial makes great company but never returns your calls. Now I’m too far gone and have nothing but contempt for phony, chickenshit friends. No more apologies, the fault is yours. I’m digging in the gutter for stars.